It Started with That Smile
by phippss2
Summary: RH Harry's thoughts during episode 307. Spoilers up to 307.


It started with that Smile.

It had started with that smile. That's when he knew it would have to stop, or it would only get worse. Harry Pearce sank back in the leather chair in his dimly lit office, ignoring the seemingly ever growing pile of paper work on his desk., mulling over, and further more analysing the events of the day. What disaster had occurred this time, or if it had been a good day, what disaster had been averted this time. How the team on the grid had handled it, and more importantly , how he himself had handled it. What he had done, what he could of done, and the dreaded what he should of done. This was becoming part of Harry's daily ritual, this scrutiny. Ever since the whole Tom Quinn debacle, something which he was determined he would never allow happen again. Now, he would be watching more carefully.

Harry shifted slightly in his chair, trying to muster any ounce of strength left in him to enable him to sit up and manage to get more than the first line read of a request for assistance from Special Branch. This must have been his 4th or 5th attempt, and he still had no idea what they wanted help with, and at this point in time , he really didn't care.

This had to stop. He knew this. Every inch of him screamed at him to just ignore it and move on. Here he was, faced with some unknown , interfering with medicine dosages, draining hundreds of bank accounts, and all by the stroke of a computer keyboard. This was a new enemy, a faceless one , and a very dangerous one. At least with the Russians you knew they were the enemy, you knew who they were, what they wanted. But now, this chaos could be being caused by any one of a number of Islamic fundamentalist groups , hell bent on holding them to ransom, or even some spotty nosed boffin with a computer operating out of his flat in Coventry. The battle lines were no longer clear. And on top of that, he had that smug ,useless bureaucrat Guy Facer breathing down his neck. Here he was faced with all this, yet it was something else that clouded his thoughts. It wasn't all that long ago , when this would have been at the forefront of his thoughts, but at the moment , it would just have to take a number and wait.

Giving up completely on attempting to ascertain whatever it was that Special Branch were bothering him with, his thoughts strayed for a brief moment to Danny, and his irritating, yet some what understandable behaviour. While it was annoying Adam, all it was doing to Harry, was fuelling further his own guilt over Zoe. Speaking of which, he also had the boyfriend and his threats of the press to deal with.

These were what Harry should be focusing on. These were the problems he should be analysing , finding ways through them. It was after all, what he was good at. But it was something entirely different that was receiving all of his attention today. This, feeling maybe, whatever it was usually clouded much of his mind, but today it had pretty much taken over. He had applied every ounce of training and experience he had ever received to try and move pass this, and he had thought he had been successful. Harry was sure he had talked himself into believing that it was just a passing fancy, or a figment of his imagination , stemming from his own sense of loneliness and solitude. That theory had just come crashing down today. That smile had undone all that hard work.

He gazed out through the glass, out onto the near abandoned grid. All dark except for one desk lamp. Abandoned except for one dark figure, completely captivated by whatever she was reading. Completely oblivious to the fact that she was the source of all trouble today. Blissfully ignorant of the pain , through no fault of her own, that he was living at this very moment. A pain that he was finding increasingly harder day by day to breathe through. All because of that smile. All because that smile had not directed at him, but Andrew. It was childish, he knew that. But it bothered him so much, almost wounding him inside.

Harry's thoughts came to an abrupt halt, disturbed by the phone. Groaning at the sight of the name on the caller id , Guy Facer, it was time to get back to reality. Forget this adolescent behaviour. He wasn't a teenager for gods sake. This had to stop, or it was only going to get worse.


End file.
